It sounds like a gory teen-angst issue, but what I’m talking about here is hair. The overwhelming urge to chop off my ever-annoying hair.
According to Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy, it’s a horrible idea to go in for a drastic haircut when you’re pregnant. But since my hair was already pretty short, I wouldn’t consider this drastic. Vicki says, in all capital letters, “DO NOT CUT OFF YOUR HAIR OFF WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT! … because a very pregnant woman who wants to cut her hair is not really looking for a new hairdo, she is looking for a new, nonpregnant, look…” She continues, “you may end up looking more like a Pinhead than Mia Farrow if you cut your hair when you are ripe with child. And your husband, whose nerves are already pretty raw at this point, will probably snap if you cut your hair, since we all know most men prefer long hair under any circumstances, even if it makes you look like Fabio.” To that, I add, what’s wrong with looking like Fabio? Wasn’t he on the cover of like a million romance novels?
Thanks, Vicki, for the advice, but I managed to read this little excerpt TWO DAYS after I chopped off all of my hair! And, anyone who knows me will know that I haven’t been thrilled with a haircut since about 2003 when I got it all hacked off and threw in blue and purple streaks for added effect. In fact, I’ve pretty much hated my hair since that grew out because haven’t been able to get that style again, and so I have been tempted to go back to the good ol’ college days when I shaved it off a la G.I. Jane.
But this time I brought in a photo of Posh Spice, not because I like her so much, but because I really liked her haircut.
This is what I was going for.
I walked out of the salon looking much like Posh, though not blonde, but my hair was a helmet of mousse, root-boost, and tough-hold hairspray. Needless to say, when I tried to do my hair myself, it didn’t work very well. In fact, I looked like a brunette Kate Gosselin, which I wouldn’t consider that
bad except that all of the celebrity gossip shows mercilessly make fun of her hair. In fact, it seems that not only is there actually a website
dedicated solely to this style, but there was also a best-selling halloween wig
for the style colloquially referred to as “the reverse mullet
Ronny, ever a sweetheart, said that he liked my new cut, and I’m pretty sure I believe believe him, even though he has since calling me Nick, referring to the fact that I look quite boyish now. He’s always been pretty supportive of my sudden urges to cut off my hair, which tend to come along every time my hair is just growing out of its most awkward phases.
At work, most people said they liked the new ‘do, but with their compliments came a subtle cringe, a look that said, “well you really did a doozy this time, didn’t ya?” One guy I work with was candid with his opinion. He said through a little smirk, “So, you already got the mom cut, huh?” Ouch. Well, good thing I’m not out to impress the guys at work.
But as of today, I think I’m starting to get the hang of this new coif. Here’s a pic I took with my cell phone this morning. I don’t think it’s horrible, but the jury’s still out. Notice the sneaky grey, er, platinum, streak above my eye. With any luck that will be gone within the next few days.
Call it a reverse mullet, if you must.