A different way of thinking

As a person who wants to write for a living, I’ve committed and recommitted myself to writing every day several times in my life. Usually it’s just in my journal, but I’ve also committed to freewriting, morning pages, daily prompts, gratitude journals and other little daily assignments. But never have I been able to keep it up for very long. I’m just too stinking lazy…There’s never enough time in the day…I have nothing to write about…I have about a million excuses for why I don’t write, which is probably directly related to why I am not a professional writer.

Now that I’ve committed myself once again to writing every day for NaBloPoMo I’m determined to stick with it, at least posting every day for the month. I mean, how hard can 30 days really be? The answer to that is VERY! It’s very difficult to write anything every day, let alone something that other people might read. It’s not the time commitment that gets me; I have plenty of time, at least for now. It’s not having interesting anything to talk about that makes this difficult. It’s having things to talk about, but things that I wouldn’t necessarily want anyone else to know, or things that no one else would really be interested in. I mean, Jenny McCarthy had no problem writing about all of the very personal stuff that she went through during her pregnancy in Belly Laughs, but I have to say, some of the stuff that I could write about is somewhat comparable, but not necessarily things that I’d want future job interviewers to stumble upon.

What I’ve found is that now I’m constantly looking at things in my day-to-day life and wondering if they’re blogworthy. Not that anything I’ve written here has been all that significant, but there are just little tidbits of the day, little here-and-nows, that capture my attention and that I want to share. It’s a new way of thinking because now I somehow actually have a few people reading my writing. No one reads my journals, or at least I  hope no one reads my journals (!), so I never have to worry about what I put in there. But here I have an audience (insert enthusiastic applause here, please), albeit an eensie-weensie teeny-tiny audience, but an audience nonetheless.

The thing about blogging is that when I have nothing to say, I feel like a bit of a disappointment. I mean, I can ramble on about anything, which is what the freewriting and morning pages are for, but who wants to read the first thing that comes to my mind, and how much trouble would I get in if that’s what I wrote about? Seriously! Plus, the point of this blog is to talk about becoming a mother, not about all of the junk that runs through my mind on a daily basis.

Honestly, though, this 30-day challenge has had one very positive effect on me; it has gotten me to start thinking like a writer again. I was thinking like a writer on the grand adventure, and I logged a lot of time on the laptop, but unfortunately I’ve been too lazy to write either of the two books that I had planned. They’re still on the horizon, and the drafts are still on my thumb drive, but….I’m a slacker. Plus, I have to admit, I’m a little overwhelmed by the amount of time and work that will be required to put something out there which will most likely be rejected.

Today, nothing really blogworthy or interesting happened. It has been a terribly average day. In fact, the most exciting thing that has happened to me today is that I found a bag of peanut M&M’s in the pantry at work. Unfortunately, I ate the whole thing, but I think the baby’s enjoying the sugar. S/he’s kicking like crazy. Or, maybe she’s upset with me because a little while ago I sat down at my desk and underestimated the space my belly would need. I probably woke our little one up from her much needed slumber with a belly-knock to the desk.  

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more interesting, huh?




One thought on “A different way of thinking

  1. I’ve tried “writing” too, and I agree – it’s hard. I think about my college professors showing us all of their rejection slips and I’m like, ‘There went my drive…’ I even had the idea once to try to submit things like magazine articles or short stories, but again I thought that might be useless without an agent… What I would probably need to do is find some decent writer’s club with people more experienced than I. Hm. Sounds like a lot of work…

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