Shrieking for Shrek

I didn’t know what to get R for Father’s Day. Not only does he have pretty much everything he needs, but he, like any man, is really difficult to shop for. I can’t even think of how many things I’ve given him over the years that have managed to sneak to the back of the closet or mysteriously disappear in some other fashion. One time I actually returned a gift that I gave him (a nice set of noise-canceling headphones). I found them in the back of the closet, still in the box, a couple of months after I gave them to him. He never even noticed that they were gone and I pocketed the cash.

So, when the facebook deal of the day was two tickets to Shrek The Musical for $40, I couldn’t resist. It may not be an extravagant package to open, but it could be a great experience, right? I got the genius idea that Maysen could just sit on my lap quietly for three hours while we enjoyed the show as a family. Yeah, right. She was squirming and kicking the person in front of me before the curtain even went up. But once the show started, she was enthralled! We made it through the first two or three songs without any trouble, but by the beginning of the fourth scene the little ketchup-covered hot dog bites that I had sneaked in were starting to fly.

We were already in the nosebleed section (thanks, facebook!), but it just so happened that the back several rows were wide open. We moved back and enjoyed the show. Maysen went from my lap to Ronny’s, to her own seat, jumping and dancing and giggling and shrieking. It was amazing. She’d sit down in her own chair and lean her head on Ronny’s arm, and then three seconds later she’d be standing up on the chair bouncing and clapping. I actually thought she was going to lose it during the big dragon’s song. She got so excited that her whole body was shaking! She actually stayed completely entertained through the entire first half. In fact, she was so funny and adorable that I hardly even noticed the show on stage.

I took her out to run around during intermission, at which point it all started going downhill. The second half was still a good experience, but we went from the previously mentioned happy and entertained, gorgeous and dearly adorable Maysen to the mischievous little monster that we have all come to know and love.

Yes, Shrek and Fiona, we were that high-pitched squealing and screaming you may have heard coming all the way from the back corner of the balcony. Sorry about that. But, I wanted to thank you for the fart-off scene. That stopped her dead in her tracks and elicited the heartwarming giggles for a while. But, alas, it couldn’t last forever. We ended up using the number one most miraculous baby-taming invention of all time — the iPad. I know, I know. A perfect mother wouldn’t resort to bringing out a brightly glowing distraction like that to ruin the show for everyone else just to keep her baby quiet. A perfect mother would probably either carry her toddler out to let her have her tantrum in peace or else have some sort of something that I don’t have. But I’m not the perfect mother.

Anyways, it ended up being an amazing evening. The joy that I felt when I saw the joy on both Ronny and Maysen’s faces as he held her hands and she bounced and danced in his lap was worth all of the screaming and hassle and the squirming and the tossed hot dogs combined. Now, I forever have the memory of Maysen’s first live performance: Shrek the Musical.

Too bad that we had to drag her out of there screaming about two hours past her bedtime. I left the playbill behind on accident, so it probably won’t make it into her scrapbook, but the memory will hopefully stay with us forever.

Oh, and no, I haven’t started the scrapbook yet. Who has time for that?


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