I often think about what a former co-worker said to me once when I was pregnant. He said that being a parent is amazing, and that you’re constantly surprised by your own capacity to love. He explained that after having the first baby you’d think it’s impossible to find enough love in yourself to have enough left for a second baby. And then the second one comes and somehow you have double the love.
Every day I look at Maysen and I fall more deeply into love with her. She’s amazing. She melts my heart. And I seriously can’t imagine that I could ever have enough love for another child. How could I ever love anyone as much as I love her? It doesn’t even seem possible.
Before May I was always, in my opinion, a little incapable of really loving someone. Of course I love my husband, of course I love my parents and my brother, but it’s different. It’s not a heartwrenching love that leaves me feeling helpless like it is with her.
Just in the last few days she has learned something really sweet. Here’s our newest dialogue:
Me: “You know what?”
May: “I wuv you!”
Me: “I love you, too!”
May: “I wuv you, too, more!”
Nana taught her the “more” part. Does she really know what she’s saying, or does she just know that she’ll just get a big warm hug and kiss from me when she says it?