I just had to sneak in the door quietly because I knew Mom would be trying to get May to sleep. It’s past her bedtime, but Nana reads and sings to her late. On the other side of May’s closed bedroom door I hear Nana reading a story about a baby coming. It seems to cover the pregnancy from the beginning to the birth, and Nana reads it in a beautiful, quiet, sing-song storytime voice that seems to keep Maysen enthralled. The narrative is speckled with commentary about Maysen’s reality; that there will be a new baby sister coming any day now.
The whole reality is quite insane, and I still don’t think I’ve quite wrapped my head around the fact that we’ll have a new family member within the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow is DH’s birthday, and I sortof suspect she’ll be coming then. She has been super active, turning and kicking and stretching all over the place. I even thought she was coming a few days ago. When I bent over to wipe off a toilet seat I felt a trickle that convinced me that my water had broken. I called my midwife to tell her to keep her phone on her, but after no signs of labor she came over first thing in the morning to do an assessment to see if it was amniotic fluid. Turns out I just peed my pants. Ah, the dignity of the pregnant woman’s journey. At least I’m about 50% effaced and a couple of cm dilated. There’s some action going on there, but not much.
So, I came out of the bedroom after my exam. Ronny and Maysen were lying on the couch; Nana sat at the kitchen table. I said, “Well, false alarm. Looks like I just peed my pants.” Maysen says in her most empathetic voice, “Don’t worry mommy. I pee my pants sometimes too.” What an amazing little creature she has become.
At least the ordeal got hubby to clean the house top to bottom.
We’re getting ready, though. I feel like I’ve been waiting on pins and needles ever since our trip down to San Diego at 36 weeks. I thought for sure the baby would come then. She didn’t, of course, but I knew that in order to have our home birth we had to make it at least to 37 weeks. I guess I was panicking a little because this home birth has become somewhat of an obsession for me. If it doesn’t happen I will be really, really disappointed. We made it to 37 weeks, then 38 weeks, and now, who knows when she’ll be here?
We picked Mom up on the way home from SD. She had offered to help with Maysen because I had been having so many sensations that convinced me that the baby would be here any day. Now, she’s been here 2 1/2 weeks and all of my major pains have gone away. It’s amazing what a little help with the toddler and housewife duties will do! I hope she’s okay being here this long… She says she’s fine, and she’s getting some great Nana/Maysie time in. In fact, I almost think Maysie prefers her over me at this point, but I’ll take it. I need the breather, big time.
So now it’s a waiting game. For a while there I was hoping the baby would just come because I was so physically uncomfortable that every movement hurt. Now, after Mom’s help, I’m actually enjoying being pregnant again. I’m so grateful that she’s here to help.
With my posting record I have a feeling that this will be the last post I have before the baby comes. I have to admit I feel quite a bit of guilt about how little I’ve posted. With my first pregnancy I spent a LOT more time here. This time, though, I’m much busier and much more exhausted.
Anyways, the baby is on her way soon. I’m really hoping for a nice, quiet, peaceful home birth experience. I’m not a person who prays, but this just might be a situation where I might try to reach out to the big guy in the sky. Let’s hope for no complications. Let’s hope for strength and confidence. Let’s hope my body can do what it was designed to do without tearing in half like it did last time. Let’s hope for the amazing birth of a healthy, strong, beautiful baby girl.