I was going to write “Almost There” but “Almost Three” came out instead. Lucky typo got to stay. Today is January 5, 2015, and technically baby girl #3 isn’t even due for another three days. Unless you count her original due date of 1/14, which would mean another 9 days. I had her date changed because I REALLY thought she’d be here too early to have my much-desired home birth. Before 37 weeks home birth isn’t allowed in California, so I had the date changed. So basically I’ve been on high alert for labor for over a month, feeling like I’m ready to pop, but nothing’s happening! I have been showing labor signs, namely, losing my plug, contractions, and being dilated to 3cm for the last three weeks.
Why am I seeing such a “3” trend in this post? Hmm…
I did manage to get some lovely pregnancy photos taken. Perhaps I should share a few:
Oh, wait, that’s not one of the pro photos. That’s just an iphone selfie. But you get the idea of how huge I feel!
It’s nearly impossible to pick favorites, because my dear friend Jamie from Pixel and Paper Photography did such an awesome job on my photos. She actually made me feel like a beautiful pregnant woman, not like a big old cow about to pop, which is how I feel right now.
I’m trying to enjoy these last moments of pregnancy. It’s really a bittersweet time for me. On the one hand, I’m excited to meet my new baby girl. On the other hand, I still don’t feel like this is even a reality. On the other hand (humor me), I feel like crap and want my body back. On the other hand, and this is the hardest part, I realize that this is my last pregnancy (of course I should never say never). I realize that this is the last time I’ll ever feel a tiny little baby inside my belly, the last rolling and kicking and stretching. No matter how uncomfortable it is to have a knee jut out of my ribcage simultaneously with a head pressing against my anus causing very confusing poo-like sensations, it’s still a magical feeling that I know I will miss. I missed it with Maysen and Avery, too, but I always had in the back of my mind that I’d be pregnant again. This time feels like the last time, so I’m a little upset with myself for wanting to rush things.
I am really excited to see how Maysen and Avery take to their new little sister. And I can’t wait for the squishy, lovey, amazing experience of breastfeeding again. But am I ready for sleepless nights and tons of crying, from every person in this family? Am I ready to feel like a sleep-deprived zombie cow again? Am I ready to load and unload THREE kids in car seats? Am I ready for a frigging MINIVAN?!?!
My next post will probably be my birth story, if I ever get it written. Until then, please send your positive birth vibes my way.