Almost Three

I was going to write “Almost There” but “Almost Three” came out instead. Lucky typo got to stay. Today is January 5, 2015, and technically baby girl #3 isn’t even due for another three days. Unless you count her original due date of 1/14, which would mean another 9 days. I had her date changed because I REALLY thought she’d be here too early to have my much-desired home birth. Before 37 weeks home birth isn’t allowed in California, so I had the date changed. So basically I’ve been on high alert for labor for over a month, feeling like I’m ready to pop, but nothing’s happening! I have been showing labor signs, namely, losing my plug, contractions, and being dilated to 3cm for the last three weeks.

Why am I seeing such a “3” trend in this post? Hmm…

I did manage to get some lovely pregnancy photos taken. Perhaps I should share a few:

IMG_5400

Oh, wait, that’s not one of the pro photos. That’s just an iphone selfie. But you get the idea of how huge I feel!

Here are some of the good ones: JMD_1866 JMD_1881 JMD_2106 JMD_2214 JMD_2269-2 JMD_2478 JMD_2670 JMD_2698 JMD_2719 JMD_2777

It’s nearly impossible to pick favorites, because my dear friend Jamie from Pixel and Paper Photography did such an awesome job on my photos. She actually made me feel like a beautiful pregnant woman, not like a big old cow about to pop, which is how I feel right now.

I’m trying to enjoy these last moments of pregnancy. It’s really a bittersweet time for me. On the one hand, I’m excited to meet my new baby girl. On the other hand, I still don’t feel like this is even a reality. On the other hand (humor me), I feel like crap and want my body back. On the other hand, and this is the hardest part, I realize that this is my last pregnancy (of course I should never say never). I realize that this is the last time I’ll ever feel a tiny little baby inside my belly, the last rolling and kicking and stretching. No matter how uncomfortable it is to have a knee jut out of my ribcage simultaneously with a head pressing against my anus causing very confusing poo-like sensations, it’s still a magical feeling that I know I will miss. I missed it with Maysen and Avery, too, but I always had in the back of my mind that I’d be pregnant again. This time feels like the last time, so I’m a little upset with myself for wanting to rush things.

I am really excited to see how Maysen and Avery take to their new little sister. And I can’t wait for the squishy, lovey, amazing experience of breastfeeding again. But am I ready for sleepless nights and tons of crying, from every person in this family? Am I ready to feel like a sleep-deprived zombie cow again? Am I ready to load and unload THREE kids in car seats? Am I ready for a frigging MINIVAN?!?!

My next post will probably be my birth story, if I ever get it written. Until then, please send your positive birth vibes my way.

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